Comments for Accelerating to a stop

Comment on Taking a rain check by Ezoteraa

Ezoteraa — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:36:49 +0000

Сейчас кроме нашей основной деятельности не стоит забывать о регулярной антикризисной медитации

Comment on Bumps in the road by sixdegrees

sixdegrees — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 18:20:17 +0000

First and foremost, you need to please yourself. Not everyone, not anyone else. Just yourself. Do what you believe to be the right path for your own happiness.

It is too early for accusations to fly. Not a good sign. You and your GF need to have a heart to heart talk.

Comment on I hope I know what I am doing by amaltheus

amaltheus — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:39:29 +0000

Thank you for your message Soulgirl. I am glad that you have found this blog of inteest to you. I’ve just been trying to convey my honest, unvarnished thoughts about life and relationships since my marriage went downhill. I never realised that so many people had gone through similar situations. I very much appreciate your comments.

Comment on I hope I know what I am doing by soulgirl

soulgirl — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:10:50 +0000

Firstly, let me thank you for providing this blog. I think you have portrayed nicely what so many people consider immoral and socially destructive, but I appreciate every word.

I understand exactly where you come from and what you have been through. I too have been in a situation not totally dis-similar to yours very recently, only I am the female half of the web of complication. I am married and I fell in love with a married man with two young children. After we embarked upon an intensely emotional and physical relationship lasting 15 months his Wife found e-mails which exposed our liaisons and now, 3 months later, we no longer continue our affair. We are trying to be friends and colleagues and it’s the hardest thing imaginable. It’s the single most intense thing I’ve ever had to do – saying goodbye to my lover, a man I truly believed was my soulmate, and have yo work with him on a platonic level every single day.

I admire your bravery (which you now consider stupidity and I believe this is not the case) which has allowed you to follow your heart and be with the woman you crave so badly. I don’t know what would have happened had I taken that plunge and walked away from my marriage to set up home as I so wished to with my lover, but I know that he couldn’t have walked away from his daughters. Coming to terms with this is not easy and so I will eternally live in hope that life is kind enough to throw a chance to us again in the future. I will never stop loving him, that is a given, but I will miss him for as long as I live.

I wish you the very best for whatever makes you happy and makes you feel alive is what you must do. Keep up the blog – I admire you for it.

Take care…

Comment on Making the move by tobeconfirmed

tobeconfirmed — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:59:38 +0000

I have the same sentiments as sixdegrees. I feel for you – it must be very hard right now.

Comment on Making the move by sixdegrees

sixdegrees — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 13:13:58 +0000

This does sound like a very difficult time. It will be hard on your kids, despite the fact that you’ve moved out before. Even from just reading your blog, this sounds different – permanent. I’ll bet that your kids sense that, and have fears about the future that get played out as anger towards you and towards the world in general.

Don’t change what you are doing – you are doing the right thing for yourself. But take extra time to interact with your kids without your wife around.

And I think that your wife senses the permanence of this move. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you and your wife will remain friends. The best you can hope for is civil, and that will be in short supply.

But stay the course.

Comment on I told her by tobeconfirmed

tobeconfirmed — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 22:26:16 +0000

It’s the right thing to do – be honest and open. I am sure it will work out for you.

Comment on A critical juncture by pastfirst

pastfirst — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 11:49:01 +0000

I’ve just read your whole blog and realised that I misunderstood the situation.
I wish you all the best with your new love. As I wrote previously, life is short so don’t screw up.

Comment on A critical juncture by amaltheus

amaltheus — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:59:42 +0000

Many thanks to you both for your thoughtful comments.

There is quite a bit of history if you check my blog. It’s all there in gory detail, I’m afraid! My wife and I separated some years ago, but nevertheless I am back in the family home again after a number of setbacks and changes in my life that I could never have anticipated. My wife was aware that I had a relationship while I was separated too. So there’s history there, as they say. It may not be as bad as I think, but we’ll see.

Comment on A critical juncture by sixdegrees

sixdegrees — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:39:23 +0000

A very thoughtful and emotional post. My advice is that it is far better to reveal the truth yourself than to allow others to find that you have been deceptive. Even if there are mitigating circumstances. It will hurt your wife to hear that you have fallen in love with someone else, but it would hurt her even more to find out that you were living a double life.

Yes, your kids will be affected. But kids know and respond to what their parents are feeling. As your children see their father being happy and interacting with them in a positive way, they will respond. I think the trauma will be short-lived and can be mitigated by remaining involved as a loving and caring parent.

It is ok to be scared. But remember that you have inner strengths that will allow you to overcome your fears and open your heart to the future.

Everybody deserves to be happy. Best wishes as you move forward.