My relationship is going really well. We are both besotted with each other and she has brought out the very best in me. We both share very similar interests. Along with the physical and mental closeness, she makes me laugh. I make her laugh a lot too. She’s a beautiful human being. I’m still amazed that she could find me to be so attractive.

I have introduced her to some of my friends, but not my kids as yet. I’m not yet sure how I’m going to get over that hurdle! There was a big family occasion in my wife’s house today. I was there on my own, the dad to my kids. My wife and her family know that I am in a relationship, but it didn’t cause any issues today. It got me thinking though how things would go in the future when my girlfriend would be coming along with me to such meet-ups. Awkward initially I suppose. Such things are not meant to be easy. It’s an issue for another day.

Right now, we enjoy every minute of our time together no matter how brief and infrequent that time is. In her I have found the woman of my dreams.

I spoke to my wife tonight, and I told her that I now had a girlfriend.

It was a tough conversation. Not so much shock and anger, but that things are now coming to an end. I am sad tonight. I will get some sleep and think about it further tomorrow.

Over the next few days I will be abroad with work. It should give me some time to think, although I am not looking forward to missing my kids, nor to the extra loneliness that these trips often entail.

Last week was my birthday, and as it happens I had a counselling session on the same day. The counsellor noticed that I was in no mood to celebrate it, so when we probed it a bit further, I realised that I felt like an abandoned child. Although it’s somewhat evident, it still knocked me for six. I don’t think I said anything for ages in there – I felt very raw though, as if I had stumbled across something very important indeed. It was a strange and very powerful feeling. If there is a child inside me struggling with everything that’s happening, his advice appears sound: treat him with a lot of kindness and sensitivity.

The relationship with my wife is going nowhere. I feel somewhat uncomfortable when she is around and I think she feels the same. The last two nights we spent the evening together, but there was a great distance between us. I wanted to get away as soon as I could. I don’t really feel like talking about things to her at the moment. I don’t blame her at all, but sometimes I catch myself feeling a slight bit resentful.