I really feel I am caught like a fish in a net. No matter what I do, it ends in a mess.
I’m trying to negotiate an agreement with my wife (soon ex-wife) over maintenance and access. I’m trying to rent out a larger house so I can be more a part of my kids’ lives. I’m trying to hold on to my job, even though I know in my heart that it is unlikely I will be there longer than a year. I’m trying to make ends meet. I’m trying to keep everyone happy.
I’m failing.
I just wish I could get a bit of understanding. Things are very hard for me, but instead of getting support, I am being attacked by everyone. No matter what I do, I am being criticised for it. And in the distance I feel the axe being sharpened.
I should have kept my big mouth shut. I mentioned the new house to my wife, now she is on my case about how expensive it is. I mentioned this to my girlfriend, and she is criticising me because she thinks I have to run everything past my wife first before I make a decision.
I am so worried. I’m so bloody worried about the future it’s not funny. I haven’t slept a full night’s sleep in god knows how long, and it’s unlikely I will do so for the foreseeable future. I don’t see life getting better anytime soon, if ever. I see it getting a lot worse.
All I can do is soldier on. Meanwhile the net tightens.
