A job offer back home

I have been offered a new job back in my home town and I’m considering taking it, if only to get me out of a very unhappy situation at work.

I will be leaving the current job under a cloud. Over the last few months, my self-esteem has been destroyed, I am chronically depressed, I have had regular bouts of anxiety and I have felt on quite a few occasions that maybe my life isn’t worth living. I have felt bullied, useless, unsupported and like a square peg in a round hole. Over the last few weeks, my boss has been breathing down my neck, pointing out all my weaknesses without giving me anything in the way of encouragement and support.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I am away from my kids most of the time and that I recently had a cancer scare, maybe I would stick with it a bit longer. However I am reminded that right now, things like kids and my health really should be my key priorities. Screw trying to be a hero.

One concern I have is leaving with at least some sense of dignity. Because of the nature of the work I was doing, I don’t have much I can fall back on in the way of real achievements. It will be kind of obvious to everyone that I didn’t really cut it at the job. Compounding this is a group of managers who like to gossip about who is and isn’t doing well on the job. I feel like just handing in my notice and going out sick the following day.

Another concern I have is passing the medical in the new company. It would be a cruel blow to find out at the end of the process that the job was not available because of the cancer scare last year.

In any case, least now I have options. I have been handed a chance to improve the quality of my life. It would be worse if this option was not available at all.

~ by amaltheus on April 15, 2008.