Time away
Over the next few days I will be abroad with work. It should give me some time to think, although I am not looking forward to missing my kids, nor to the extra loneliness that these trips often entail.
Last week was my birthday, and as it happens I had a counselling session on the same day. The counsellor noticed that I was in no mood to celebrate it, so when we probed it a bit further, I realised that I felt like an abandoned child. Although it’s somewhat evident, it still knocked me for six. I don’t think I said anything for ages in there – I felt very raw though, as if I had stumbled across something very important indeed. It was a strange and very powerful feeling. If there is a child inside me struggling with everything that’s happening, his advice appears sound: treat him with a lot of kindness and sensitivity.
The relationship with my wife is going nowhere. I feel somewhat uncomfortable when she is around and I think she feels the same. The last two nights we spent the evening together, but there was a great distance between us. I wanted to get away as soon as I could. I don’t really feel like talking about things to her at the moment. I don’t blame her at all, but sometimes I catch myself feeling a slight bit resentful.
Kindness and sensitivity are a great idea for that inner child, but remember to give him peanut butter cups and kitkats too.
Good advice! There’s nothing like treating yourself to something just for the heck of it sometimes.